Cooking supper, giving young kids a bath and cleaning the house. Sounds like the typical tasks of your everyday parents. Think again. These are the duties of the oldest daughters of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar of Arkansas.
Jim Bob and Michelle are parents to 18 children, all 21-years-old and younger. They depend on their oldest daughters, Jana, Jill, Jessa and Jinger to help them with their younger children (yes, they are all J names).
The Duggars have a ‘buddy system’ that pairs an older daughter with a younger child. The older daughter is expected to dress the younger child, make sure the child is clean, and help the child with any homework. Wait, aren’t these duties of a parent?
Although Jim Bob and Michelle cherish ‘every child as a gift from God,’ are they really appreciating every child, or are they taking advantage of their large numbers? With the oldest four daughters taking care of the majority of the younger children, they are learning responsibility; but at what cost to their own childhood?
The oldest members of the Duggar family may or may not get to experience the fun and exciting times of just being a kid because they have to be worried about their ‘buddy.’ This leads me to believe one thing. If Jim Bob and Michelle are passing off their parental duties to their oldest children, what are they going to do when their children grow up and move out? I sense total chaos.
I don’t think it’s fair that the oldest Duggar daughters are expected to take care of a younger brother or sister. They need a childhood just as much as the younger children. Isn’t there a better way to handle a busy household of 18 kids? I think Jim Bob and Michelle should take more responsibility for every child in their house instead of passing off some of their duties.
The Duggar family has opened their doors to the public eye with their TLC reality show ‘17 Kids and Counting.’ Although I think it’s wonderful that a couple can have this many kids, this is one bone I want to pick with them. If you are going to be a parent, be a parent. Don’t pass your parenting off to your kids.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I do not think having the older ones helping throughtout the day with some physcial things taking away their childhood, not having the parent advocate his/her job as a parent. The older children themselves often fight of who is going to be a buddy of the newest baby. Now that there are 18, the buddy system has now grown to being more than just paired up. From soemthing I recently read one of the older girls had charge over the 8 year old boy. The rules in the household was that you can not be an older buddy till you are 8. The 8 year old boy put his bid into being the older buddy of the new baby. So what was decided to do being that his older sister who was his in charge buddy also put her bid in for being the buddy of the baby, the two of them got to be the older buddy. That is the 8 year boy and his older sister. So when there is competation and them wanting to all be in charge of the newest baby something must be working. The children are fighting over being in charge and not running away from the opportunity to be a buddy to the new one.
ReplyDeleteI personally do believe that this is the case as some of you reading this may ot. I used to as a child cry at night wishing mom would have babies so I could be in charge. She only had 3 but she took in other people's kids and I loved doing a lot of the things that a parent would do. I even brought home my school work and taught the younger kids. There is some thing rewarding to have little ones look up to you. I think this is a win win situation and works but it seems that many who are in the public looking in at this so public family only can see that the parents are handing over their jobs to the kids.
I agree with you, Sarah. While the Duggars went on television talk shows and commentary/news shows, being congratulated about the new baby the entire time, I was wondering, "Umm, why are we encouraging these people!?"
ReplyDeleteDespite what Suzanne says above, I think the girls are being pushed too far. And even though I'm sure the Duggars love every child, it's impossible that they would have time for every single child in the way that a parent of two or three would have, and that's sad.
Also, there's just something about making the girls be caretakers and not making the boys do anything that gets on my nerves, but that's another story.